For me, the year 2017 opened new chapters within myself. Incidence with no obvious sirens, no advance warning signs, no threats, just simply nothing, but the things just happened to stir me. New Emotions emerged to respond to the old patterns.
I felt betrayed, met humiliations, even thought evil at times. I agreed to things for which my soul was shouting NO, I said NO to much wanted and so desired things simply out of ego and habit. I lied to myself, I survived hatred and jealousies. I met people to calm me down. I accepted that words matter and they do carry the power of the universe, the ALL.
I met people who filled me with joy and with whom I could hold deep conversations.
I experienced love, forgiveness and letting go.
The churning began when I read ‘I am that’ by Nisargidatta Maharaj and loved when he mentioned “know not only who and what you are, know well who and what you are not”
I was lost and found myself many a times in the year gone by. I tried to relocate my purpose of living. I used to wonder how I maintained the balance between the two corners and drew my strength from there. While I was interested in Image Makeover (VR Image Consulting)on the other I was deeply involved in the spiritual world through (Aumtara) equally, I had both my in laws and my parents staying with me, I enjoyed the company of both dog and a cat as my pets. Experiencing two extremes and to bring balance was one of my learning.
I believed, things just happened to teach us a lesson, same situations were thrown at us to break the old patterns of thinking and reacting till we learned that we had to break the loop to buy out our freedom. I learnt nothing came for free.
It is like being in school one should learn all the lessons to move to the next standard smoothly. Also, the student of class V do not understand the studies of class XII, he has to clear all the exams to choose his subjects and to excel gracefully with responsibility.